A letter to my Son…
I am writing this letter to you for a number of reasons, one of which is to first acknowledge how blessed I am to be called your mother, I feel like by molding you well, I will be impacting the community in a lot of positive ways. I have also taken the time to write this letter to let you know that there are huge responsibilities ahead of you, more so as a first born son. You have a lot of examples to show! Indeed, I have to prepare you well and I can only hope that you listen, understand and let these words of wisdom become your way of life.
I was born in a time and space where being a male child may as well depict that you were born with certain privileges handed to you right from heaven’s gate just for the mere reason of your gender. However, son, I do not want you to in any way think that you are better off than your female counterpart because the truth is you are not! For that reason, do not feel that you are entitled to special rights or even expect to be treated in any superior manner.
As part of my responsibilities, I will try my best possible to teach you the exact same values of life that I will teach my young daughter, just because I see no difference other than genitals in the two of you. You will learn to be just as honest, respectful and hardworking as everyone should. We will work on cooking meals, cleaning up, fixing bulbs and changing tires all together just because the world is fast becoming a DIY space and it is everyone’s place in the kitchen as it is in the boardroom.
Your dominance should never be portrayed by the size and strength of your fist. Your supremacy should never be expressed by the raising of your voice. On the other hand, only let the world know who you truly are by the intelligence behind your spoken and unspoken words and convictions. Recognize when to stay and when to walk away. Always know that being different for a good cause is great, so don’t be tempted to join the crowd to engage in things you know deep down are wrong just to gain acceptance. Anyone who doesn’t accept you for who you really are should never be around you in the first place. Never fight to be respected, it comes naturally when you have earned it!
Before you get older and decide on your choice of a partner. We would have had several ongoing conversations about the idea of marriage and what it truly means. I bet you will have learned to fend for yourself in every way so there would be no point in marrying for domestic convenience. If you don’t find your friend in a woman, I don’t think there is any point in marrying her. You deserve a woman who would be your prayer partner, your dream chaser, your biggest cheerleader and your best mate, only if you are ready and willing to be all of these and more for her forever.
More importantly, I do not want you to feel sexually entitled, irrespective of how the society you live in may suggest that the male sexual entitlement is rather normal. Regardless of how the promiscuous men are idolized in BOND movies, I genuinely hope that you will disengage yourself from these symptoms of a larger cultural attitude that over values male sexuality and expects female sexuality to exist for male pleasure. I would wish for you to pleasure your wife and her only, just as much as you wish to be pleasured.
Finally, when it’s time to start your own family, please remember that these words of wisdom need to be passed on not by mere words but also by ways of examples.
Lots of love